


Touch Hands With Me

by ClaireFisher



Series: Words In Between [12]
Category: Psych (TV 2006)
Genre: Bryan Adams, Episode: s03e07 Talk Derby To Me, F/M, Falling In Love, Heaven, Roller Derby, Romance, Shules, Skating, Space Age Love Song, flock of seagulls
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-04
Updated: 2020-11-04
Packaged: 2021-03-08 17:42:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,062
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27390634
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ClaireFisher/pseuds/ClaireFisher
Summary: Shawn couldn’t go on living with those spine-chilling memories. He had to come up with something to replace them. Anything.Post-Ep 03x07: Talk Derby to Me
Relationships: Juliet O'Hara/Shawn Spencer
Series: Words In Between [12]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1817497
Comments: 6
Kudos: 10





	Touch Hands With Me

**Author's Note:**

> Hey everyone! I'm back with another fanfic part of the series Words In Between, which consist of extensions of my short stories posted in my multi-chap fic All Seasons With You :)
> 
> With all the tension and election going on, I figured that posting this today could be a way to lightening up the moods a bit ;) 
> 
> This one was a mix of a request made by the lovely Montecristo23 and something I had already written previously! Thanks so much for your support and although this is not completely Jules' centered, I hope I managed to bring her insights over the whole case as you asked for.
> 
> Also, this will be a bridge between this extension and the other one I'm planning for ep 3x08. Like I mentioned yesterday, I brought some light over Juliet dating Luntz and everything else. In my mind, they couldn't be going out for longer than a month between the two eps, and nothing more than dinner dates and kisses happened between them. 
> 
> I sincerely hope you enjoy it and please, leave a comment. I'll love to hear your opinion, suggestion, or anything else you feel like.
> 
> Thank you for reading <3
> 
> PS: I do mention some bits of a scene I created for my extension of ep 3x02. You don't need to read it but, maybe, it will help to understand the whole scenario a bit better.

“So we have three suspects”

Gus slammed the car’s door shut on his way out, Shawn copying him exactly, only half listening to him. 

His mind scrambled between all the moments leading to that night and the sudden fear building up in his heart the whole ride to the Roller Derby event, Jules’ voice and the hint of apprehension he caught in her tone enough to send him on a wild road of possible scenarios, neither of them very pleasant.

Still, he managed to keep a decent enough conversation, attempting the best he could to at least mask part of the dread consuming him. 

“Two to go”

“And you think they’re on Juliet?”

Clearly Gus was just as much concerned about their friend but, unlike him, Shawn had so much more to lose if that whole thing took a turn for the worst and, as he approached the parking lot, he fought with every ounce of his body to deny the likelihood of Juliet, his Jules, at the moment not minding to correct his dumb heart, which kept calling her his, when the reality couldn’t be far from it, being in a ditch, bleeding. 

“I said they might be. Either way, we’re going to find out pretty quick.”

“What do you think they’ll do to her?”

Gus was about to press further but both men came to a halting stop once they spotted the colorful bracelet, once sitting on Juliet’s wrist, now tossed on the pavement, its sight curdling Shawn’s blood. Soon their eyes were dragged to the parked truck a few feet ahead of the dropped macramé piece, the locked trunk and the possibilities its shady window concealed enough to cause the witty psychic to suck in his breath. 

“They may have done already”

His bluish-green irises twinkled in the dim light of that parking area, fear coating them with a glaze, a shimmering dread Gus had never seen take over his best friend in all those years of friendship and, if he didn’t know Shawn as much as he did, he would almost affirm that those eyes were concealing tears. 

“That’s Westwood’s truck” 

They approached the vehicle, unease steps towards the red truck, uncertain of what would be inside, hearts pumping at their ears. 

Shawn’s forehead wrinkled in concern as his voice came out as a whisper.

Gus, more scared for seeing his friend, always so careless and untouched, so troubled by the whole ordeal decided to put his own fear at bay and stepped closer, leaning in so he could peek through the back window.

“I can’t see anything”

And while Gus kept his eyes focused on the car, Shawn looked around, unfocused, unclear, a million thoughts crossing his mind furiously and his heartbeat uneven. He pressed his hand against his mouth, not certain of his next step, which was new territory for the man who always had an answer to everything. 

“Look for something to jimmy the lock.” 

Gus, moved by a new wave of confidence, fumbled with the lock, easily unlocking the trunk, surprised both by how easily he could open it and by how Shawn, from all people, missed it. 

Shawn never misses anything.

Not even a single detail. 

Still, at the prospects of what might await him, of the fear he had over Juliet’s life, he let that detail to escape and that moment told more about Shaw's feeling than anything he could ever verbalize to Gus. Distress was putting lightly the condition of the man who never ceases to get himself in trouble and to talk nonsense but who, right now, was almost silent. 

As they opened the vehicle a blue blanket was what they first saw, covering which was, most likely, a body.

“Oh, no.”

Dragging his hand to his hair, Shawn almost couldn't deal with the anticipation engulfing him like quicksand, unbalancing his feet.

Gus, still caught in his haze of confidence was the one to flip over the blanket, and at the sight of what he saw he backed away, shocked, trembling hands that turned into a whole-body convulsion. 

Shawn, shocked for a second only, attempted a shy step before his arms were inside the trunk, body maneuvering so he could sit at the edge of it, hands anxiously touching Juliet’s face, a gash covered in dried blood sitting at her forehead, her limp form almost transparent, lids closed, concealing her vivid and joyful blue orbits. 

“Jules! Juliet! Talk to me! Come on.”

But it was no use.

She was gone.

With a gentleness nobody believed he possessed, Shawn dragged her body closer to him, picking her in his arms, holding her close and tenderly, fingertips tracing the soft skin of her cheek, tracing her delicate features which not an hour ago were live and expressive, happy, enchanting. 

And to surprise even himself, tears started to flow freely from his eyes, his worst fear finally concreting itself, all the images his vicious creative mind could conjure at last happening. 

Why Juliet?

Why her, a brilliant, beautiful woman with so much life ahead of her? A woman with such gentleness and care for others, who put her life at second plan to protect her city and the people she loves.

It wasn’t fair. 

And, the worst of all was that she was gone and Shawn was left with the numbing emptiness, besides the grief, of losing the only woman he ever loved. Although he still wasn’t there, not ready yet to admit it, now was the time to face it.

And how much he regretted having to face this reality only when he could never tell her, could never love her as she deserved.

If anything, he failed.

At protecting her, at being her friend, at being someone she could count with and that would protect her no matter what, even if she was the one carrying a gun around. 

It was his fault.

As Shawn raised his head, Gus’ eyes were focused on him, hollow, hurt. 

He had never seen that expression on his friend’s face, that mix of pain with a very good amount of anger. 

Soon, Lassie and the Chief were at the site, bringing a crowd of black and whites, an ambulance trailing behind along with the coroner’s vehicle. 

But in their eyes too, Shawn saw the accusatorial rage, how they too blamed him for the death of their most adored and loved Junior Detective, the joyful glue holding them together, soothing Lassiter’s hardened personality and the pupil Karen Vick always wished to mold and help.

Shawn woke up in a startle, sweat piling up in his forehead and descending his sideburns, shirt drenched as his unfocused orbits tried to locate him inside his dark apartment, leading him to the despair of not knowing his whereabouts for a good few seconds before he assessed that he was, indeed, at the safety of his bedroom. 

That hadn’t happened.

It was just a nightmare.

An awful one.

Jules was alive, probably fast asleep in her own bed. 

She survived. 

Was untouched. 

Sighing, he passed his hands through his damped locks, relief washing over his body like a bucket of cold water, causing him to shiver slightly as the lingering fear lifting away from him, all the while he tried not to focus too much on the vivid images flooding his conscious, setting his eyes on the opposite wall of his darkened bedroom, praying for all the horrible shadows chasing him to fade away.

Trying to go back to sleep it would be no use. Shawn knew that the moment he closed his eyelids again, the image of Juliet’s lifeless body would appear again, bringing with it all the fear and guilt, all the pain he noticed it was quite unbearable.

Until now he never allowed himself to wonder about the possibility of something serious enough happening to Juliet, taking her away from the world, too scared to even venture his mind in picturing her with a sprained ankle, the idea of her sustaining a headache already causing his stomach to drop.

But seeing her dead, even if it was only inside his troubled mind, was enough to make him dizzy.

He couldn’t live with himself if anything happened to her.

And despite how much he wanted to just get up and hit his bike, already towards her apartment to make sure she was safe and sound, sleeping peacefully and unharmed, Shawn knew it was too risky. How would he justify that? And in the agitated state of spirit he was, he could spill all his confusing feelings out before she could even inquire about why he was knocking at her door almost three in the morning. 

It was already hard trying to explain his makeshift date masked as just some opportunity for them to discuss the case under the premise of dinner, even if she didn’t stick around in the end, let alone him interrupting her night because he had a stupid nightmare.

Terreffing, for sure, but still, just a nightmare.

So he remained sat in his bed, the lamppost’s light coming in stripes through his blinders, illuminating a very small area of his bedroom, while he kept wondering about that whole case, and desperately avoiding the subject of his deep feelings for Juliet and what that woman was capable of causing him.

But soon enough, the dreadful images would resurface and Shawn was determined to change that.

He couldn’t go on living with those spine-chilling memories.

He had to come up with something to replace them.

Anything.

So, the next morning he made sure to walk back to the Roller Derby stadium, paying some good amount of cash, which he didn’t steal from Gus he might add, to convince the DJ to come early and play him some songs, knowing that, not later that day, Juliet would have to come back and retrieve her equipment, something she hadn’t had the opportunity to do so on the previous day due to the need of arresting the real culprits behind Westwood’s, not Juliet’s he had to remind himself, murder.

Soon enough Juliet was there, her yellow shirt bringing her a bright halo, her hair, downed for a change, glowing under the lights of the track, just as much as her big blue eyes, conveying both curiosity and doubt, but being convinced by him to join on a small ride around nonetheless, trading her heels for the overpriced skates the Chief was still a bit mad about, and ready to roll.

But even if he faked his poor skills as a skater, Shawn couldn't conceal the fact that he, indeed, lost his balance at the proximity of Juliet, her inebriating scent making him lose his composure a little, loosening up his boundaries and tearing down his wall, causing him to attempt anything to touch her, to get even closer, to vanish for once with his nightmare, still replaying in his head like a stuck tape on a VHS.

Of course, Jules, being the coy and slightly strict woman she was, put a barrier between them almost instantly but it only last a second, and then her hand was pressed against his, and Shawn had to suck in a breath at how his entire arm tingled at the soft touch of her skin, causing him to once more lose his focus on the path ahead.

And they skated, until Flock of Seagles turned into Tears for Fears and long gone were the walls between them, fingers interlaced tightly as Juliet’s melodious laugh filled the wide stadium, causing Shawn to smile just as broadly, happy to be the one putting that happiness in her face. 

But as the speakers started to play Heaven by Brian Adams, the easygoing mood between them took a turn to a deeper feeling, both went silent as the memories of that night back at Shawn’s high school, the dance they shared, all that reunion and what it meant for both parts, invaded their minds.

If they closed their eyes they still could feel the proximity, remember each other’s eyes and how they sparkled differently that particular night, how it was almost too much to hold back the turmoil of emotions burning inside.

Shawn cleared his throat, not much sure how to go from there, not sure if he should proceed to talk and ignore the song, or remain quiet all the while praying for that awkwardness to go away.

To his utter surprise, Juliet did the imaginable, she leaned in her head, resting it against his shoulder, their feet moving slowly through the course of the song.

He could feel strands of her golden hair tickling the skin of his neck, but he didn’t care a bit.

Juliet was there, so close, real, alive, and well.

That was all he cared about.

Pretty much perfect.

But, like all good dreams, the end was bound to happen, and once the last note of the song flooded through the place, Juliet straightened herself, fingers detangling from his, her cheeks in that deep tone of crimson which always made Shawn’s heart drum like church bells.

She stayed quiet, staring at his eyes for only a second or two, before she lowered her head, hand tucking in a strand of hair behind her ear. 

Although there was so much to say, so much to explain and to understand, once more they decided to remain quiet.

It was not the time.

Not yet.

So Juliet smiled shyly at Shawn, nodding briefly, knowing that he would understand her gratitude before she skated towards the spot she had dropped her heels. She changed quickly and with the last wave, bid her goodbye and disappeared through the metal doors.

On her way out she couldn’t help but reason about that whole week and, in the secrecy of her own mind, mush about all the little things Shawn had done for her. Sure, the dinner and expensive wine were very appealing, especially for someone who had little to nothing to eat that day and was extremely uncomfortable in her chosen garments, but Juliet wouldn’t assume it was for her, wouldn’t surrender to her dumb heart looping around like bunnies. Then he just overstepped and took the blow for her, willing to sustain all Chief's complaints regarding that case which was taking a turn for the worse, even after she was the one dismissing his own advice. And even if he had demanded her to be the paying source of their pineapple smoothies, Shawn was the one holding a tray with one cup for her at the end of the day. Then there was the way his eyes stared at her, at first concerned when he met her before the whole burst happened, then almost embarrassed as he beamed over her talents and outfit, causing her to blush just slightly. 

And now this.

That, if in other circumstances, she would catalog as the perfect date.

But it wasn’t.

It couldn’t be.

Maybe because she wouldn’t know what to do to tighten more the leash on her heart, wouldn’t know how to act around him or how to interpret the deepness and glint she saw in his eyes, a pure adoration that made her swallow dryly, unwillingly. 

But then, there was she, not long after, conceding him to hold her hand like they were long time lovers, leaning her head on his shoulder just because she couldn't help herself, not when Hevan started to play and all she could think about was the way Shawn held her close that night so many weeks ago at his high school reunion. 

Why did she have to be so dang easily compelled by his smile?

What was she going to do about her date scheduled for the next day?

Sure, she knew Cameron Luntz for a brief period of a week, accepting his invitation to a pleasant dinner because he couldn’t be farther from the man with whom she just skated. So, yes, Juliet, in wild despair to shut a certain psychic out of her mind, accepted the invitation of a man almost twice her age. Despite anything else, Cameron was a pleasant company, and although she didn't know where that would lead her, at least it was an escape for her own threatening feelings.

But all the way home, she kept wondering if Shawn knew how much he affected her, all the while she blushed, wonderstruck by all the sweet little things he had done for her until now.

Shawn, on his part, remained frozen in the middle of the track, still caught between the unsettling sensation of wanting to believe that all wasn’t a dream and the dread of waking up to discover it was. 

To his most profound happiness, he realized it wasn’t

He had actually skated with Juliet and she held his hand.

And if he wasn’t so embarrassed by his teenager giddiness on that fact, he would gush over it more. 

After the first shock washed away, Shawn skated back to the seat he was in when Juliet first arrived, trading his footwear for his Nikes, still a little unbalanced by the whole ordeal, but happy. 

He thanked the DJ once more and walked away to his motorcycle, parked at a hidden spot behind the stadium, still going over every single detail of his “sort but not really” date with Juliet O’Hara.

A lot more could have happened, but she wasn’t ready, and quite frankly, so wasn't he.

It was not the right time yet.

But there, Shawn realized that, for Juliet, he would wait.

And, in the end, he got what he wanted after all.

That night and the following ones, he didn’t wake up frightened and dampened, with the feeling of Juliet’s lifeless body weighting his arms.

No.

Instead, he could only dream of the heavenly feeling of having her close, her head against his shoulder, their fingers laced, and the certainty that, even if she said they wouldn’t hold hands, Juliet caved anyways. There, in that track, he could delight himself in the sweet presence and all the other million little things Juliet was, and that he wouldn’t trade for all the wonders in this world. 

And, regardless of what his powerful brain could craft to keep him awake, her soothing and warm smile was all the heaven and dream he needed to sleep peacefully.

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaim: I used some of the lines of the ep to build up the first part of this fic ;)


End file.
